When the Next Step Is Scary

What if Your World Is getting Ready to Be Turned Upside Down

Ohhhh sexy girlfriend!!!!

Please tell me you’ve seen Sixteen Candles (if not see below)

If you haven’t seen this movie, I kindly request that you see it ASAP. You should stop whatever you’re doing right now… wait… nevermind.

*Watch it after you finish reading this post*

Is this blog post about Sixteen Candles… no, not really — allow me to connect some dots though.

You know Jake, right?

(From the movie, not State Farm.)

I was about 5 years old when Sixteen Candles came out and I saw it for the first time when I was about 12.

I’ve seen it at least 20 times since…

Half the time, after I watch Sixteen Candles, I Google Jake.

Why?

Because Jake was H-O-T (he was the guy in the red shirt btw) !!!

His real name is Michael Earl Schoeffling (in case you were wondering).

I know that Jake retired shortly after filming Sixteen Candles. He preferred carpentry, stability, and life outside of the spotlight. And, it appears, at least according to Wikipedia, he still prefers it that way.

So what’s my point?

Jake had a ton of potential to make it in Hollywood. In my opinion, he could have just stopped acting to be a Calvin Klein model – at least to allow me to continue to admire his beautifulness. (I know… selfish!)

However, he decided to go against the grain, follow his heart, and live life the way he wanted.

My lusting desires be damned!

Mic drop. Exit stage “left”. (see what I did there?)

So my point is this: 

It’s OK for you to CHOOSE to exit stage left of your unhappy marriage, despite the opinion of others.

It’s Ok to Prepare for Divorce Even If You’re Undecided

Many people decide to follow their passion, but they usually wait until they’re halfway through life – assuming they live to 100. 😉

Jake… lol… where are my manners — Michael, did it at the age of 29.

29!!

It didn’t matter that he “put in years” studying his craft.

It didn’t matter that he was a heartthrob and “people expected him to stay” in Hollywood.

It also didn’t matter that he could have potentially been more “financially sound” with an acting career versus being an owner of a woodworking store.

So if you’ve been WAITING to start living your life to the fullest, it’s ok to change the course now.

I recognize that this sounds a bit oversimplified but stay with me, please.

It’s possible that you’re unsure.

You’re worried about paying all the bills on your own.

You don’t want to feel guilty and explain things to your friends and family.

You’re concerned about how this will affect your kids.

All perfectly normal.

It’s not that I want your marriage to end – it’s just that I want you to be happier – like Jake. 😊

I want you to know that it’s ok to prepare for divorce even if you’re undecided.

Plus, guess what!

Preparing for it doesn’t mean you’re going to MAKE it happen. 

It simply means you’ll be ready IF it does. 

To give you a little needed nudge, I decided to prepare a digital resource called the Silent Preparation Series.

(Seriously, just now as I was writing this, I decided).

Drastic changes may or may not be necessary for your life.

However, I know that some of you have had it with the B.S.

Some of you are at the tipping point of the life you really want.

Listen to podcasts, listen to self-help books, hire a therapist, or a life coach. Do whatever you need to do to follow your heart.

Just DO. It may feel like you are turning your world upside down when in fact you are turning it right-side up.

I welcome you to stay tuned into the FIIRM Hero Library (where you are now) and learn about your options as you consider a separation or divorce. Hope to see you soon.