5 Financial Questions You Can’t Afford Not to Ask Your Partner

Apr 29, 2025

5 Financial Questions You Can’t Afford Not to Ask Your Partner

I f you’re single and ready to mingle, you know that dating in the 2020’s is very different from dating in the 90’s & early 2000’s.

While the dating scene has changed, some things haven’t changed.

If I were in a new relationship, there are 5 specific money questions I would ask my partner if I had intentions of pursuing a long-term relationship. I would definitely want to discuss money before marriage, and the information in this blog can help guide that chat for you, too.

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship or marriage, you know how difficult it can be to manage money with a partner.

After being married for 13 years, as a single mother and primary breadwinner, today, having a stable financial life is pretty important to me, as I would like to retire comfortably.

It’s also important to working women, I speak with over 30.

Obviously, there’s no shortage of questions to ask a partner about money. However, there are a few financial questions that help provide foundational information that can ensure a stronger relationship.

If you’re already in a relationship and you’re afraid to discuss specific topics because money conversations are uncomfortable,e then maybe understanding the benefits will push you to do the hard thing.

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What’s The Benefit of Asking Your Partner Financial Questions?

How many of your past breakups should have happened long before they actually did?

Most of us are guilty of staying in a relationship too long.

It may have been because you’re trying to figure out how to make the relationship work or because uncovering important information took too long.

Now, think about the role money has played in your past relationships.

What about the money fights in the relationships of your parents, family, or friends?

I don’t know about you, but a few ugly situations come to mind.

Understanding your partner’s money story is important if you want to avoid nasty conflicts about money in your relationship.

The benefit of having hard money conversations is that it can help you recognize emotional triggers.

How helpful would knowing what topics make you and your partner anxious or defensive?

Understanding your partner’s money story is beneficial when you have conflicting opinions and are seeking a happy compromise.

Everyone has a money story.

It accounts for the experiences, emotions, upbringing, and motives that shape how you think, feel, and handle money.

You might discover something surprising about your partner.

Perhaps there’s a deep-seated fear of debt or an ambition to achieve financial freedom early because of a childhood experience.

financial questions for couples

Your money story has a direct impact on:

Life Values: What’s important to you? For example, tithing, family time, new experiences, or education.
Financial philosophy: Your approach to making financial decisions. For example, your risk tolerance, your investment strategy, and your approach to debt vs savings.
Financial Habits: The way you manage key areas of your financial life—for example, the way you choose to budget or spend money routinely.

There is an old TV Show called I Love Lucy.

In the show, Lucy & Ricky Ricardo are a married couple who cannot be more different. One spouse, Ricky, was always trying to stay on top of things, ultimately trusting Lucy, the wife, to handle the bills.

Lucy was often behind on important bills like rent and utilities, and tried to hide it from her husband. Naturally, they got into a lot of fights about it.

While the show didn’t spend a lot of time discussing their money stories, I’m sure we would have learned how different their stories were if they had.

I’m also pretty sure that if they had spent some time asking each other the five critical money questions before marriage, both would have had a better understanding of each other and less fights about money.

You might already know you’re romantically compatible, but are unsure if you’re financially compatible.

If that’s the case, there are good finance questions for couples to ask each other—things deeper than credit scores, income, and budgeting.

I’m sure you don’t want money to hinder your romantic relationship; you both just have to feel safe discussing the topics.

How to Prepare to Ask Your Partner Financial Questions?

I loved it when we had debates in class in high school.

The key to winning a debate was understanding the points your opposition would make and being prepared to rebut them.

Hopefully, your relationship isn’t as adversarial as a high school debate, but something can be learned from it.

If you’re uncomfortable talking about money, some extra preparation will help you determine what financial questions to ask your partner.

One of the first things you should do is use the questions below to prepare.

To have a productive conversation that feels safe, you can try the following steps:

Step 1. Ask yourself the questions first to understand your position on these topics. It’s only fair that your partner expects you to provide the same information you’re asking for.

Step 2. As you think about or write down your own responses, ask yourself “Why” to dig deeper into your response. If needed, ask yourself “why” up to 4 more times to get to the root of your feelings on a particular topic.

After Step #1 &#2, you might be ready for a conversation with your partner.

The hard part of money conversations with a partner is balancing emotion with logic.

The goal is not to prove who’s right or wrong. The goal is to listen and remain open. While you’ll want to incorporate Step #2, first, you want to make your partner feel safe.

Step 3: Ask for their buy-in to discuss the topic(s). If not now, when? If they’re unsure gain permission to check back in.

financial questions to ask your parter

Tip: Practice Active Listening – Show that you value your partner’s perspective by listening without interrupting.

Tip: Empathize and Validate – Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and let them know you understand.

As the conversation continues, if things get too tense, take break and finish at a later date (days though, not years).

Skipping these steps or ignoring these tips could lead to misunderstandings or, worse, more conflicts.

What are the critical financial questions to ask your partner?

Reviewing the list below, you can see that technically it’s more than 5 questions. That’s because I’ve provided follow-up or clarifying questions depending on the direction of the conversation, just in case you need them.

What’s a financial habit of your partner (or a past partner) that either impressed or concerned you? What are some “red flags” you’ve noticed early on related to someone’s financial behavior? How would you feel if your partner had significant debt they hadn’t disclosed early on?
What’s the biggest money lesson you’ve learned in a relationship? How should couples decide on big financial decisions like buying a house or making significant investments? What are some of your hard line, “I ain’t playing with you” financial boundaries? What’s your personal “pack your bags” financial boundary in a relationship?
What lessons did your parents teach you about money?
How did your upbringing shape your views on money and relationships?
How would you approach the topic of prenuptial agreements with your partner? What does “financial security” mean to you in a partnership? How do you feel about taking risks?

Take FIIRM Hero Action

Now that you know what financial questions to ask before marriage or maybe even before moving in together, you can take FIIRM Hero action.

If you’re seeing pink or red flags in your relationship these conversations can help you figure out the source.

It can also help you figure out how your partner’s answers will impact your future together.

Your goals might include buying a home, traveling the world, or starting a family.

The right questions and financial conversations are essential to setting goals and checking if your priorities match.

Of course, achieving goals is a team effort and it’s possible with some grace and understanding.

You May Also Be Interested In:

Disclaimer: The information provided is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional legal or financial advice for your personal situation.

Nikki Tucker

Founder & Managing Director

Nikki is an experienced financial services professional, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst ®, and the primary divorce financial strategist for The FIIRM Approach. She helps female breadwinners prepare for divorce to avoid common financial mistakes and confidently maintain their financial security post-divorce. She uses proven strategies within the FIIRM Approach methodology so her clients can manage their money, debt, and credit and be connected to the right resources for the next phase of life. TAKE ACTION & LEARN about the tools that can help make your pre and post-divorce easier. Grab your FREE Divorce Support Pack.

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A Better Budget: A Simple Way to Organize Your Money

Jan 30, 2025

The Savvy Financial Habits of Biweekly Paycheck Savers

I’ve been dead broke, kinda sorta broke, and a couple of paychecks away from broke. I’ve been paid weekly, biweekly, semi-monthly, and monthly.

Biweekly Earners! By the end of this post, you’ll better understand how to organize bills and budget your money to lower your financial stress.

I’m an exhausted perimenopausal mom, financial professional, and primary breadwinner.

So, from personal experience (see the sentences above), I know that mastering budgeting as a biweekly earner is an underutilized tool for getting out of the paycheck-to-paycheck grind.

The secret to saving money or paying down more debt isn’t always about a bigger paycheck but wisely managing what you have.

Stuck trying to figure out how to organize your bills and budget?

Imagine transforming your finances simply by tweaking your habits. Sounds like a fantasy?

For many, it is not.

When we can’t figure out how to save money regularly, it’s either an income problem, an expense problem, problematic habits, or a combination of the three.

It’s never too late to get on track with your money, increase your credit score, and reach your long-term goals.

Let me challenge your assumptions whether you’re just starting or have been trying to save for years. I’m confident you can hit your 2025 financial goals.

The Basics of Organizing Your New Budget

Getting paid every two weeks means you get 26 paychecks in a year (ignoring leap years intentionally).

You get three paychecks two months out of the year.

The third paycheck is typically larger because the regular deductions are not taken out.

This unpredictability can be frustrating for some but a fantastic opportunity for others because you can use that third check to your advantage.

The first thing to do is to understand how your pay schedule empowers you to leverage every penny you earn.

You cannot skip this step.

Suppose your job or payroll provider doesn’t provide an annual payroll schedule (HR usually has it). In that case, you can figure out what months you will get those ‘extra checks’ on your own.

The easiest way is to search for “paycheck calendar 20XX” online.

For example, Intuit/Quickbooks has a bi-weekly payroll calendar template available.

Depending on how your pay dates fall in 2025, your ‘extra paychecks’ may hit in January, May, August, or October.

Once you figure out your pay period dates, the next step is reworking your budget.

Because of how your pay dates may fall, the timing of your paychecks will look different every year, so January is the perfect time to plan.

However, it’s never too late to begin this strategy to organize your budget and bills.

Even though you are getting paid bi-weekly, paying your monthly bills using a semi-monthly (twice a month) budget allows you to:

Track funds more efficiently
Distribute your expenses more evenly
Eliminate or at least be more prepared for surprises and
Maximize these mini windfalls.

6 min read: Get the audio summary of this blog post & listen to specific ways to use your extra ‘paycheck’ – sign up for the FIIRM Hero Newsletter Community to HEAR what this post is all about when you don’t have time to read it.

What’s The Magic of the ‘Extra’ Paycheck

When you read the stories of someone who paid off five and six figures in debt, it’s usually not because they did it all at once.

It’s because they did it little by little, which makes the ‘extra’ paycheck so powerful!

Think about it…

70-100% of a paycheck NOT going toward essential bills, mortgage, or car payments. While there is no ONE way to budget money, here’s a FIIRM Approach way.

Set your budget as if you get paid semi-monthly or 2x a month. The standard way is to use the 15th and end of the month.
Change your billing due dates/payment schedule to align with the new budget schedule. Your utility companies and creditors are typically flexible with this request. Make sure you account for paper and electronic bills. You might pay some bills earlier than usual, but let’s say goodbye to late fees.
Prepare to reserve 30-50% of your monthly expenses to cover gaps or irregular payments to get things going initially. *You can use your savings or your next ‘extra’ paycheck to jump-start this plan.
Make plans for EVERY extra check. This is a necessary step.
Set goals and execute the plans to support those goals.

While this won’t immediately change your monthly expenses, this strategy is for you if you feel one unexpected considerable expense will make you your headspin.

📣Use the extra funds to boost their emergency fund, pay down debt, or splurge on something they often deny themselves.📣

Use Automation to Lower Your Financial Stress

Automation is the Beyonce, Wonder Woman, (Insert Your Favorite Hero ________) of smart money strategies.

Use automatic bill payments as a key part of your strategy to manage monthly bill payments.

If that makes you uncomfortable, remember that when you set up automatic payments on recurring bills, you can always turn it off if needed.

Setting your bills up this way will save you time and effort in keeping track of bills and your budget.

However, it’s not a set-it-and-forget-it type of thing.

Does it Matter How Your Bank Accounts are Set up?

It’s 2025, so I assume you have a bank account.

You receive bank statements, maybe even paper statements, and a debit card, and you likely already use their online banking platform.

Your financial institution appreciates it when you keep money in the bank, and they are probably always sending you offers to use other financial products.

Let’s talk about talking them up on their offers.

One key to managing your money better is to set up a good system to organize your bills and budget to support your financial goals.

Simple Separation Supports Your Progress

With modern technology, you don’t need to make a phone call or walk into a branch to open a new bank account.

Even if you don’t get paid bi-weekly or adopt this budgeting strategy, having just one checking account is not a good idea for managing and protecting your money.

Utilizing three accounts – two checking and one savings account- is as powerful as using a budgeting app.

The best way to do this is to designate one account for bill paying (primary account), one for spending, and one for savings.

You only need a debit card for the checking account you will use for spending. This reduces the risk of your primary account being compromised.

As a bonus, there’s less temptation to dip into savings for unnecessary expenses. It also makes bill organization even more straightforward.

This habit requires minimal discipline after setup, yet it is a great way to maximize results.

How Much of Your Extra Paycheck Goes to Your Emergency Fund

As a primary breadwinner, one way to protect your financial security is to have an emergency fund.

Bi-weekly earners can make building an emergency fund easier by using a budget as if they are only paid twice a month (or 24 times a year).

Emergency funds are used for unexpected expenses or to cushion the blow of large expenses.

The target is usually 3 to 6 months’ worth of expenses, but if that feels too much, aim for $1,000 first and build from there.

$1,000 can cover your insurance deductible, car repairs, household repairs, or annual recurring bills that we sometimes forget about.

Think of savings as intentional growth, not deprivation. Knowing you have this available can provide great peace of mind.

Rewarding Yourself Doesn’t Need to Be Impulsive

Part of your important financial decisions includes plans to reward yourself. When learning how to organize your bills and budget, remember the best part – spending money on yourself!

Your discretionary spending should include what makes you happy, and using your extra paycheck is the perfect time to do that, too.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you use the entire check on the reward but balancing the little luxuries. If you see something you “have” to have, try giving yourself 24 hours to cool off before buying it.

The most important thing about rewarding yourself and indulging in a guilt-free way is planning for it.

Debt Dance-Offs

While the average person has to pay a mortgage or rent, credit cards are usually the biggest pain.

I don’t believe debt is evil, but it’s easy to get in trouble with it.

Use your extra paycheck to tackle debt, avoid late payments, and win the debt dance-off.

Time for FIIRM Hero Action to Organize Your Bills & Your Budget

This blog post helps you better understand how to organize bills, budget your money, lower your financial stress, and save more money.

Take action today by adopting strategies from biweekly paycheck earners to stay on top of your finances.

Ultimate Financial Resource Guide FIIRM Approach

Nikki Tucker

Founder & Managing Director

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Prepare to Take Your First One-Day Travel Trip Alone

Dec 2, 2024

How to Travel Alone for the First Time

I’ve been traveling alone for a long time because I find it relaxing. I know that it’s not the norm for everyone but this blog post is intended to teach you how to travel alone for the first time, ever or in a loooonnnggg time.

Of course, I’m biased but as a semi-empty nester I happen to think that solo travel is underrated. It feels empowering, adventurous but sometimes a little overwhelming. Preparing to take your first one-day travel trip alone is a great way to build your confidence and get you out of your comfort zone in your post-divorce life. A one day trip may mean you return home same day or just that you’re only gone for 24 hours.

Honestly it really doesn’t matter what your relationship status is but I recognize that sometimes it’s hard to get at away. There are times when money is tight, vacation time is low and the kids schedule is chaotic but you still a change of scenario.

You just need to get away even if its only for a day. Let’s get into some simple but practical tips for the best places to hang in the United States for when you’re traveling alone for a quick trip.

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Why Taking a Trip to Do Nothing May Be Exactly What You Need

Southwest Airlines Rapid Reward Program requires a minimum of 20 flights annually to maintain A-List status for the following year. Usually, around October, I check my flight count to see how far away I am from keeping my A-list. 2024 was no different.

I go back and forth between, “Forget it, I’ll just let it go” and “I really want to keep my A-List status”. This year, I decided to keep it and booked a quick trick to St. Louis. I didn’t have any plans in particular, but it feels good to:

Not pack a bag/lug a suitcase around
Not worry about real plans
Get a away for a quick break without breaking the bank
Not have to worry about anyone else’s needs or plans
Still sleep in my own bed

We often think of a good vacation as having a full itinerary with tons of new experiences. But when you get back home, you need a vacation from the “vacation.”

So, while a trip intended for you to do nothing may sound weird and possibly like a waste of money, this is less about money and more about peace of mind, convenience, and opportunities for rediscovery.

You can reach many of the destinations discussed in this post by plane, train, or automobile, but when we think about the most efficient way, it’s likely by plane, so that is what the focus is for this post. However, feel free to choose any method of transportation that works best for you.

One-Day Travel Tips for Solo Travelers

When to take your solo trip?

If you’re a newly divorced mom with minor children then it goes without saying that you might need to book the trip based on the custody/visitation schedule.

In addition, these trips should feel light. This means that it shouldn’t be a logistical nightmare. Booking on a typical off day or a planned vacation day is a good idea.

The other cool thing about solo trips is that you can usually sneak away without most people even knowing that you’re gone. To offset safety concerns, it makes sense to tell a family member or best friend but these are trips I often keep to myself from most people.

Tip #1: Travel on the cheapest days of the week

Book the trip on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday. Why? Because flights are typically cheaper on these days due to lower demand. Most people don’t want to fly in the middle of week, unless its business travel and chopping up a weekend is rarely the preference. So if you can book a flight on one of those days, it’s a simple way to save money regardless of the airline. The bonus is that the airport is also less busy, obviously, so security lines are generally shorter.

If you’re coming back the same day then it’s the best value for a roundtrip flight. Alternatively if you do book on a Tuesday and come back on a Wednesday, it’s still typically a great value even with the overnight stay.

I’m no travel expert, but I typically book my flights 21-45 days in advance, more if possible. I only book last-minute flights in emergencies because you are going to pay through the nose every time.

Tip #2: Research parking prices

For most airports, it’s more economical to park offsite because on-site parking, when available, is more expensive. However, for same-day or quick turnaround trips, on-site parking may not be more convenient but reasonably priced.

Here’s a quick example. Economy parking (offsite) for Midway Airport in Chicago is $15 a day, even if it’s not a full 24 hours. For a big city, this is not a bad price.

Onsite parking (no shuttle buses involved) at Midway Airport is $40 a day or $4 an hour. So, let’s assume I’m taking a single-day trip and want it to be as convenient as possible. So I calculate that I’ll need to park for about six to seven hours, which should cost about $28 if I choose hourly parking.

However, I learned (after I had already parked) that the Daily $40 lot only charges $20 to park for 4-8 hours.

Go figure!

Now, obviously, parking in Economy is still $5 cheaper ($15 versus $20) than parking onsite, but walking directly from the parking garage to the terminal, saving about 20-30 minutes, is absolutely worth $5.
Before you travel, check the website for information on parking at the airport where you will be flying in and out so that you can make a more informed/strategic decision.

Tip #3: Stick to travel hubs when possible

Living in the Chicago land area gives me a clear advantage when taking domestic or international flights. Chicago is a travel hub, and it makes it pretty easy to get to some of the best travel destinations in the world. However, I stick to the safest countries and cities for one-day or solo trips. Fortunately, this still leaves me with a lot of options.

In most cases, if you are traveling alone for the first time, the best places to go typically meet these three simple standards for me

Short flight/time in the air
Good culinary scene
Easy airport to navigate

The bonus is if they have a fascinating local culture.

The choice of destination airport is really important. When an airport is easy to navigate, it is less likely to be crowded, which means you can breeze through security lines. It also means that the overall trip feels more relaxing because the travel environment doesn’t feel chaotic. Small airports typically fit this bill; however, airports like Minneapolis and Phoenix aren’t terrible.

The other reason to stick to travel hubs is that you’re less likely to get stuck. Travel hubs offer many direct flight options and good alternative airline options should your flight be cancelled.

If you live far away from the travel hub, traveling to a hub city also offers convenience and security, especially if you need to return home by a certain day or time.

Lastly, travel hubs are often in major cities, which means you will likely have many great restaurants to choose from, an appealing cultural scene, and access to many modern amenities, like Uber and Lyft services.

The Best Places to Visit for Solo Travelers

If your previous travel was determined by your former partner’s preferences or your children’s sports travel schedule, then your first trip alone gets to be determined by you. You can book a group tour, meet new people, or create new experiences depending on what YOU like. From personal experience, sometimes it can feel so good waking up in a beautiful hotel room with no chores, laundry, or list of errands waiting on you the moment you get up.

Of course, staying overnight comes with an extra cost, but if you can curl up with a good book you can never seem to read at home, it might be the best thing for your sanity and overall wellness.

The cities I’m recommending below are places where I’ve had the best time, where I have genuinely good food recommendations, where the local people are kind, or where I just enjoy spending time.

Remember, be open to making new friends, pack light or not at all, and have fun! Preparing for your first trip alone can feel daunting, so give yourself some grace. If you decide that the best way to travel solo is an extended trip to Latin America, Western Europe, or South Asia, please go. The point of this post is not to restrict you. It’s to help you fulfill those “need to get away” moments, but here are just a few considerations.

Things to Do Alone in Chicago

It’s only fair that I start with my hometown and my favorite city in the US. I’m going to talk to you about it. Chicago has so much to choose from, and it’s one of the best places to visit in the summer. It has two major airports, and you can get to the heart of the city from either one pretty quickly using public transportation (the cheapest way to get around) or car services.

By the way, if you like hearing about food recommendations/ reviews, be sure to follow The FIIRM Approach on Instagram and Facebook to learn about my favorites as I travel to old and new destinations.

Why Chicago is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city
Great place for foodies – deep dish pizza, hot dogs, steakhouses and so much more
Scenic – Lakefront, iconic architecture
Main Tourist attractions: Willis (I still call it Sears) Tower, Millennium Park, Museums, River Cruises
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – Park Hyatt, Westin, Langham

Things to Do Alone in Los Angeles

Los Angeles is more charming and exciting than most cities. If you pay attention to social media, you know it’s known for its Hollywood glam, scenic beaches, and beautiful homes. If you live on the East Coast, it’s a long way to travel for a day trip, but if it’s a short flight, then I recommend it as an option. Honestly, though, I don’t love downtown LA, but that’s a personal preference.

Why LA is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city – LAX can be a beast though
Good place for foodies – Celebrity-owned restaurants and trendy cafes. My Personal Fav is Griddle Cafe on Sunset Blvd.
Scenic – Ocean, Beaches, Mountains (everything you need to see in one place!)
Main Tourist attractions: Arts District, Rodeo Drive, Santa Monica Pier; great museums and Hollywood studios
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – There are so many options: The Garland & Hollywood Roosevelt are a just a couple of options

Things to Do Alone in New York City

New York City is not everyone’s first idea for their first solo adventure. I get it. However, if you’re open to a new adventure, then you’ll appreciate that NYC is full of excellent options for solo travelers.

Why NYC is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city- LaGuardia was recently renovated and it’s beautiful!
Good place for foodies – Celebrity-owned restaurants, NYC-style pizza, hot dogs, and culturally diverse food. My Personal Fav is Cuts & Slices in Brooklyn.
Cultural Scene is rich!!!
Main Tourist attractions: Manhattan, Times Square, Broadway, Central Park, The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – This one is tricky. While there is no shortage of hotels in NYC, I’ve yet to stay at one that felt very relaxing however, Trip Advisor recommends – The Knickerbocker and The Dominick Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Atlanta

Atlanta has a little bit of everything—southern charm, big-city amenities, and a thriving sports/arts/culture scene. It is a slower city than New York and Chicago, but not slow enough to put you to sleep when you arrive. Navigating the city can be a challenge sometimes because of traffic, and even though there is a train station connected to the airport, it’s not the most public transportation “friendly” city.

Why Atlanta is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city – while the airport is huge, there are many amenities within a short drive from the airport.
Decent place for foodies – Brunch & Soul food options. My Personal Fav is Poor Calvin’s in Atlanta.
Cultural Scene is rich!!!
Main Tourist attractions: Piedmont Park, Atlanta Botanical Garden, Coca-Cola Museum, The Battery Atlanta and National Center for Civil and Human Rights
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – The Whitley; Loews Atlanta Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Denver

Denver has an artsy, hip vibe. It’s a beautiful city with amazing views of the mountain and a thriving arts and music scene.

Why is Denver Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city
Decent place for foodies – No personal favorites but that just means I need to take another trip
Main Tourist attractions: Denver Botanic Gardens, hiking, Rocky Mountain tours, local breweries or world-famous Beer Trail
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – Great boutique hotels; The Oxford Hotel and The Catbird Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Dallas

Dallas is a big city! It’s loaded with history, culture, and, of course, old-fashioned Southern hospitality. If you can make it to Dallas on a short flight, then having a brief love affair with the city is easy.

Why Dallas is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city
Good place for foodies – BBQ and Soul Food are a must. My Personal Fav for a sweet treat is Cookie Society. The brisket at Hurtado is AMAZING!
Main Tourist attractions: The Sixth Floor Museum; NorthPark Center; Dallas Museum of Art
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – The Joule; Fairmont Dallas; Thompson Dallas

Things to Do Alone in Phoenix

The weather alone is a reason to visit Phoenix in the spring and fall. Summers are pretty intense, and it’s quite chilly at night in the winter, but it’s still a great place to relax and enjoy beautiful scenery.

Why Phoenix is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city
Decent place for foodies – Amazing Mexican and fine dining options. My Personal Fav is Steak 44
Main Tourist attractions: Desert Botanical Garden; Camelback Mountain; Wrigley Mansion
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – So many resorts and day spas to choose from!

Things to Do Alone in Seattle

Seattle is breathtakingly beautiful. It’s a cool city to visit for coffee, music, and rain lovers! Although it’s a big city, it doesn’t feel overwhelming, even though there are a lot of people who live there.

Why Seattle is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub city
Good place for foodies – Amazing Mexican and fine dining options. My Personal Fav is Pink Door
Main Tourist attractions: Pike Place Market; original Starbucks, Glass Museum, Space Needle, Bainbridge Island
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – Hotel Theodore, Edgewater Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Nashville

Why is Nashville Good for a Day Trip?

Not a hub, but the airport is easy to navigate
Good place for foodies – Southern Food, Hot Chicken and BBQ.
Main Tourist attractions: Grand Ole Opry; Broadway; National Museum of African American Music
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – Conrad Hotel, Noelle Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Minneapolis

Now, you may not want to venture to Minneapolis in the heart of the winter unless you really like cold weather, but it has other cool things going for it. The people and culture remind me of Denver in a lot of ways, and I think it’s ideal for a first solo travel adventure.

Why is Minneapolis Good for a Day Trip?

Hub airport
Decent place for foodies – No personal favs.
Main Tourist Attractions: Mall of America, Walker Art Center, lake views, Sculpture Garden
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – JW Marriott, Hewing Hotel

Things to Do Alone in Washington D.C.

I absolutely love D.C. It’s one of the most culturally rich cities because of its history, food, and social scenes. Now, the rodent situation I could do without, but nobody’s perfect!

Why Washington, D.C. is Good for a Day Trip?

Hub Airport – Reagan is very easy to navigate.
Great place for foodies – I have too many favorites to name, but The Hamilton, Residents, Kitchen and Kocktails are a few that come to mind
Main Tourist Attractions: There are way too many to name but here are few – National Mall, any Smithsonian museum, Rock Creek Park
Beautiful Hotels for a Relaxing Stay – JW Marriott, Hewing Hotel

Time for FIIRM Hero Action: Travel Alone for the First Time

This blog post was intended to provide the best tips for preparing for your day trip alone and to help you understand the little things you can do to have a good experience traveling alone for the first time.

Life will always get in the way of us doing all the things we want to do, but I encourage you to make time to sneak away so that you can increase your confidence and comfort with traveling alone. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time.

You can take a page from my book. My last solo trip to St. Louis, took about six hours. Every trip doesn’t need to be a long weekend or require travel specialists to coordinate. All I needed was me, myself and I.

If you’re not already following The FIIRM Approach on Instagram, let’s connect so that you can hear firsthand about restaurant recommendations in our Finicky Friday food features.

You might discover your favorite new place or find the next city to visit when you need to sneak away for a fantastic meal.

The kids will be fine. The laundry can wait. It’s time to create new memories in small towns or even foreign countries.

You can also check this FIIRM Hero blog post – New Experiences Don’t Have to Cost You a Lot of Money, or research Facebook groups that share ideas on solo travel.

Travel smart. Keep it light. As my friends and family always say to me – Safe travels.

Tips for Women Starting Life Over After Divorce in Your 40s

Nov 11, 2024

Starting Life Over After Divorce at 40

It would be nice if there were more movies, fairytales, TV shows, books, and stories about what starting over after divorce at 40 really feels like. We have been socialized to accept the traditional path of love, marriage, and babies, which is fantastic when things go according to plan.

But what about when things don’t go according to plan?

While the divorce rate has improved slightly in the U.S., the struggles post-divorce remain about the same.

Where are the stories that focus on women over 40 thriving after they’ve had to start over when they realize that their last marriage may not have been their “last marriage?”

This blog post will provide tips for women starting over after divorce at 40 or over 40. As a widowed mom and primary breadwinner, I understand how heavy it can feel to start over.

These tips are not listed in any particular order because, as they say, everyone’s situation is different. But by the end of this post, regardless of whether you’re one week or five years into your post-divorce journey, you’ll have tactical tips to help you take action for your next chapter with FIIRM confidence.

4-6 min read: Looking for the audio summary of this blog post – sign up for the FIIRM Hero Newsletter Community to HEAR what this post is all about when you don’t have time to read it.

How to Navigate the Emotional Turmoil of Divorce to Thrive Later

You and I can agree that most people do not go into a marriage planning to get a divorce; however, it’s an unexpected reality, particularly for women over the age of 40.

Processing the emotions associated with divorce is critical, and ensuring you have the correct support is essential.

While the beginning of a new chapter can be exciting, unexpected events can occur, and it’s essential to be prepared to handle them.

If you engaged with a therapist during your divorce process, it can be very beneficial to continue seeking guidance from a therapist to help shed light on new feelings, perspectives, and challenges as you reach the end of your marriage.

For example, there will likely be some random moment (usually an inconvenient moment) when it hits you that the person who was once the love of your life is now officially your EX HUSBAND.

Or when you thought that because you still love, care, and respect your ex, you would still be friends post-divorce, but he treats you like the wicked witch of the West.

Many of us don’t realize the feelings that surface because we not only lost a life partner but possibly also extended family, friendship, and comfort.

Those feelings alone require some level of emotional support, but we may have been so caught up in the divorce process that we don’t think about a big item that catches us off guard. When marriages end until you remarry, you lose the title of wife, and for many, that means you lose an essential part of your identity.

You’ll probably be grateful to have someone support you and your emotional needs through all these conflicting feelings.

In addition to professional support, stay connected with a support network you trust who have successfully navigated divorce. A little alone time is okay, but don’t isolate yourself too much as you’re “processing” this major transition.

Building Confidence in Your New Chapter

Being a wife comes with a lot of responsibilities.

Being a parent comes with even more.

When the title of wife goes away, most of the responsibilities don’t. Plus, if you become a single mother after signing your divorce papers, you instantly climb to the top of the responsibility mountain.

Cooking – yep – we still have to eat.

Working – definitely – we still need money.

Coordinate pick-ups/drop-offs – Yep, legally, you can’t just abandon them.

Making sure the kids feel stable & secure – feels even heavier now.

But then there are other little things, depending on how you split responsibilities during your marriage.

I can never remember where the water shut-off valve is, so I purchased this little handy sign from Amazon.

I also signed up for a pretty reasonable maintenance package for my furnace and A/C because I remember how expensive they were to replace because we didn’t get them serviced regularly.

Being the sole decision-maker for so many things can feel overwhelming, but at the same time, it’s a great opportunity to rediscover your strengths and build confidence in managing things the way you think is best.

You don’t have to learn how to do everything yourself; you just have to make sure it gets done.

This makes it the perfect opportunity to follow the FIIRM Approach practice of BID A.D.O – Automate Outsource and Delegate. As a single woman, I have enough stuff to handle and every little bit of help makes a difference.

Taking time to ensure that you build a system that allows essential things to get done can help you feel confident as you navigate the next chapter.

Secure Your Financial Fill-In

Part of the process of building a system includes finding someone who can fill in for you when you are unwell, need surgery, or have something even more drastic.

This is where your financial fill-in / your financial BFF will come in handy. I spend a lot of time discussing the importance of a financial BFF in this blog post, but the quick and dirty response is that your financial fill-in is the person you trust with intimate information about your financial life.

You Likely Need a Financial Fill-In If:

You have minor children.
You are single.
You are primarily responsible for managing the household finances.
You own assets or owe debt.
You don’t have life insurance.

It doesn’t matter if you fall into 1 category or all 5.

Hopefully, finding the right person will not take much effort. The only caution is that it probably should not be your former partner.

Sometimes, your financial fill-in is also the executor of your estate, so let’s talk about that next.

Rethinking Your Estate Planning After Divorce

Creating or updating estate documents is an essential step in protecting your financial security as you make a fresh start after your divorce.

Married women have the comfort of knowing that, in most states, with or without an estate plan, most assets default to them if their spouse dies.

But as a newly single woman, especially a single woman with young children, you need to direct your assets where they should go. Most of us think that the first step is creating your will.

The good news is that wills are an essential part of an estate plan. However, before we get to the thrills of a will, as you’re starting over after divorce, it’s important to update your beneficiary information.

You will need to review ALL accounts and update or confirm beneficiary information. Even if your divorce decree has directives for beneficiary designations, you have to take action, as things won’t be automatically updated.

ALSO READ: What if She Gets Your Money

Because beneficiary designations can supersede some legal documents, aligning them with your other estate plans is important. This may require some professional help, but you can always attempt to go at it alone first.

Expert advice, such as an attorney or online resources, can help you construct additional documents, such as your will, power of attorney, and other relevant information.

However, if you’re not sure what these important documents do or how they impact the future of your estate, allow me to explain the basics quickly.

Will – Establishes a guardian for your children and directs your assets to your heirs (family or friends)

Healthcare Power of Attorney/Living Will/Healthcare Directive – Dictates who you have selected to make healthcare decisions on your behalf and details your end-of-life directives.

Financial Power of Attorney/Durable Power of Attorney – Dictates who you have selected to handle financial matters if you are incapacitated or temporarily unable to carry them out

Saving Money for Future Security

I will assume that you made important decisions regarding your changing financial circumstances as part of your divorce process.

You have a new budget to go with your new lifestyle; however, it’s an excellent time to review your discretionary spending and find ways to save money for certain expenses.
There are many financial matters to consider, but given that your free time is limited, I wanted to give you one item to put at the top of the list.

Divorce comes with big adjustments. Granted, eating and keeping a roof over your head is quite an urgent matter. However, your assets, post-divorce, should grow as intended.

Additionally life experience has taught you that a happy life means enjoying the fruits of your labor. So I want you to take the time to do a 360 review of your finances and reduce the costs of things you have to pay for.

So that doesn’t mean no lattes. It means strategically saving money on insurance, utilities, medical expenses, and subscription costs.

Finding cost savings in these areas can be quite meaningful and allow you to build your savings for the future.

Moving in with a New Partner

Based on conversations with many women post-divorce, the feelings are mixed future relationships. Some want to find love and a new relationship as soon as possible. This can be very easy or quite difficult, depending on your social circles.

Others who are happily single are leaving a long marriage, an unhappy marriage, or worse, an abusive relationship.

However, once you find the person you would even consider moving in with, it’s important to have intentional conversations and transparent communication.

So what does this look like?

Determine what you want your new life together to look like. Where do you have strong positions versus flexibility about how your life together will be managed? How well do you understand each other financial positions?

How much outstanding debt do you have? How much time do you want to spend discussing money regularly? If you are moving into a new space, how will you document the owner of assets?

If reading these questions makes you uncomfortable, you may want to discuss many things individually and as a couple.

However, at a minimum, lines of communication should be kept open, and a cohabitation agreement should be strongly considered. This legally binding document is intended to protect you and your new partner before you move in together. It can detail how you expect financial matters to be handled in your relationship. A legal and financial professional can work with you to make fair and practical decisions for you and your partner.

Understanding Prenups and Second Marriages

If the dating scene is good to you, then you may be considering getting remarried.

Prenuptial agreements can be essential to forging a new path to a successful marriage. These agreements outline each spouse’s financial rights and responsibilities, providing both parties with clarity and protection.

A prenup can help you and your partner establish a deeper level of trust and transparency because you will be required to cover topics related to financial responsibilities, property division, existing assets or estate plans, debt allocation, and more. If you have children from a previous marriage (minors or adults), income disparity, financial assets, or real property, then a prenup can be beneficial.

Time for FIIRM Hero Action

This blog post was intended to help you better prepare to start over after divorce at 40. It provided insights into steps to take for a new beginning and opportunities to take action today.

Divorce presents a tumultuous time. The FIIRM Approach wants to ensure you have the knowledge and resources to get you through this transition. Ready to take control of your financial future? Download our Divorce Support Pack to get started with important post-divorce decisions.

New Experiences Don’t Have to Be Expensive

May 15, 2022

Easy Ways to Cut Expenses Going Into the New Year

New Experiences Don’t Have to Be Expensive

Escaping When Life Feels Heavy

I don’t know about you but life feels heavy often. BUSY + heavy!

via GIPHY

It can be hard to find a place of calm, stillness, peace, and sometimes plain ol’ fun.

But in this unprecedented “pandemic” life, it’s necessary to find something you can do that will break the cycle of your day-to-day life.

Something to give you peace, regardless of how little time it is. Every little moment counts.

The other obvious thing about life in 2022, is that it’s expensive as hell 🤣

Gas, food, clothing, airfare, hotels – you name it – it’s probably way more than you’re used to paying.

However, I have a few suggestions for you that may help ease the pain on your wallet and give you peace of mind.

If you need a break from fighting with your husband, taking care of the kids, or the stress of your demanding career, check out these ideas and see if there’s something that can save you (at least for a few hours).

Get Deals on Concerts & Comedy Shows

Entertainers are back on stage.

Large multi-city tours, regional tours, and some pop-up shows.

For the first four months of 2022, I’ve seen 4 live music concerts and it was everything I needed it to be each time.

For larger venue events, if you are unable to get a ticket before the bots or brokers buy them all and resell them for 2-3x the price, I have a solution for you.

If a show appears to be sold out (tickets only available through the secondary market), check the ticketing site the day of the show. Miraculously the seats that were completely unavailable, or priced astronomically, may become available at a very reasonable price.

This move can be a little risky depending on the act, venue, and location, but totally worth trying if you are “dying” to see the show (at a discount).

This recently happened to me for two shows that I bought tickets for during presale or on the secondary market and I was shocked (and a bit peeved) to see the number of tickets available that day that were not available JUST the day before.

For some resale tickets, people even drop the price 20-40% lower than what they paid for them, just to get rid of them and not take a total loss.

This could totally be your gain!

Try AirBnB Experiences

Glassblowing for $50-60 per person (pp)

Sail on a private yacht – $100-150 pp

Architecture Walking tours – $30-40 pp

Underground Donut Tour – $40 pp (not even sure what that means but it sounds intriguing)

These are just some of the experiences available in Chicago on AirBnb Experiences.

Be a tourist in your own city or a nearby city.

Ask a friend to join you for something cool, new, and exciting without having to plan an entire trip.

Most cities offer really cool AirBnb Experiences for you to try.

Check out what’s offered in your area. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Be a Tourist Using CityPass or BigBusTour

When I travel to other cities with plenty of attractions I have signed up for CityPass or BigBus tours because it often seems like the most efficient & affordable way to see the city.

You get to choose what attractions you spend more time with and which ones you skip. Citypass and BigBus tickets typically cost between $50-$100 per person.

When MeetUp.com Comes in Handy

Most of us forget about the vast offerings of meetup.com to attend events and meet other people in your local area with similar interests. Meetups include sporting events, mental health activities, book clubs, technology, lifestyle groups, and more. If you can think of it, whatever “it” might be, there is likely a meetup for it.

Some meetups are free and others have a cost.

Joining Meetup.com is free and it just might be the thing you need to find some “new” people & start over.

Hideaway in a Local Hotel

Sometimes we need a mental health day and we stay home. What about taking your mental health day in a local hotel?

The change of scenery, without the laundry or dishes staring at you, can provide more peace of mind than you think you need.

If you haven’t used your Marriott, IHG, Hilton, or other hotel points recently, this might be a good enough reason.

If you have credit card points that can be used toward a hotel, this can greatly reduce or eliminate the cost of this hide-a-way mental health day.

Companies like Betterbidding.com can guide you through the steps to get the best deal possible on hotels, especially during off-peak times.

Now if it were me, I would pick the fanciest hotel I could find at the best price, because I love luxury hotel experiences.

Regardless of what you do, just make sure you feel right & light about the decision.

Relieve your stress, it shouldn’t be stressful. Don’t overthink it.

I hope you can find something that gives you the moments of peace & joy you need.

Nikki Tucker

Founder & Managing Director of The FIIRM Approach

Nikki is a Blogger, Speaker, and primary financial strategist of The FIIRM Approach. As a mom, 20+year financial services professional, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst ® she is committed to helping female breadwinners strategically prepare their finances for divorce and confidently maintain their financial security pre and post divorce. Nikki uses action-based education in her Bring Home the Bacon workshops and strategy sessions as well as her on-demand digital resource – Silent Preparation Series - so you can prepare your finances for life's major transitions.

TAKE ACTION TODAY & LEARN about the simple things that can help make your pre & post divorce life easier - Grab Your Complimentary Divorce Support Pack today

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