Silent Preparation Series Early Steps When Considering Divorce

Silent Preparation Series- Part III – Early Steps When Considering Divorce


Who You Gone Call?


If your answer was “Ghostbusters” you’re definitely “my people.” However, if you’re preparing for a divorce, unfortunately the Ghostbusters can’t help you.

Sawry 😔

Next option…

“Call your attorney.”

All too often, we hear that when someone is considering a divorce, their first phone call should be to an attorney. And quite honestly, in some situations, that step might be too early.

Guess what? You may not need to do that… or at least not yet.

We’ve heard the stories of nasty divorces that get dragged out in court, or the constant fighting after the divorce is final.

We’ve also heard the stories of relatively peaceful divorces that still come with a hefty price tag.

And let’s be honest, if we’ve never been through the process, all of these horror stories scare the bejeezus out of us!

I honestly believe that, if you and your soon-to-be-ex truly have good intentions, then divorce doesn’t have to be nasty, and attorneys don’t have to be your first phone call.

Plus, if your husband has no idea you plan on divorcing him, it’s OK to prepare in silence. 🤐





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Consider what you really need


Notice I didn’t say what you want.

One of the early steps in the FIIRM Approach Framework is about declaring your intentions in a tangible way.

Key word – intentions.

While there are some things that will be a priority for you, if you are dead set on “taking him for everything he’s got” or “limiting time with his kids” merely to stick it to him, this blog probably isn’t meant for you, and we shouldn’t waste each other’s time (respectfully speaking).

On the other hand, if you want to strategically get things in order and divorce as amicably as possible — then you’re aligned with the mission of The FIIRM Approach.

Note: we recognize that things may not end amicably, but it’s your intention to start that way.

During the initial phase, you’re considering what you want and need… the nice-to-haves and the need-to-haves.

Additionally, you’re considering what & whom you need to through the process.


Understand what divorce options are available 


There are some powerful forces that can help you get through your divorce process, most of which you may have never heard of.

By the way, I have absolutely NOTHING against attorneys. They are necessary to the industry, and can be extremely vital assets to the divorce process!

However, the divorce industry is changing.


The laws still haven’t really caught up yet to modern times & technology, but we will take the wins where we can get them!

Some divorce industry professionals are helping to change things.

I love it and want more of it… 😉😉

Plus, technology is playing a bigger role in divorce, too, especially since COVID-19.

Divorce pros that weren’t always at the table before now not only have a seat – they have a voice.

Some may even be divorce professionals that you have never heard of.

50 years ago, becoming an Uber driver or social media manager wasn’t a thing.

Yet here we are.

Allow me to introduce you to divorce in the 21st century. 

Oh wait… let me clarify something quickly.

There is a difference in preparation versus being ready, and if you’re waiting to be ready, you might as well wait for Vanna White & Pat Sajak to leave Wheel of Fortune (I’m just saying…)  

I know you’re used to carrying the weight, I just want you to remind/inform you that you don’t have to do this alone.


Learn about divorce professionals you need to know


Divorce Coach

Divorce Coaches can help with strategic decisions, understanding your state laws, managing your expectations, and providing useful information that can get you through the divorce process more smoothly.


Collaborative Divorce Attorney

Collaborative Divorce Attorneys’ primary focus is fair negotiations and keeping you OUT of court.


Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

Certified Divorce Financial Analysts can help you understand the financial decisions made today and the impact on your financial future (property divisions, tax issues, earning capabilities, etc). Yep, I’m one of them. 


Divorce Mortgage Specialist

Divorce Mortgage Specialists understand how to evaluate income, child support, and alimony during the mortgage underwriting process, and sometimes provide education that is helpful in negotiations.


Learn about these divorce support professionals & more, where to start in your divorce process, and how to keep your divorce costs down in our digital on demand offering The Silent Preparation Series.

Get the help you need to feel more confident and powerful on your divorce preparation journey. 


Nikki Tucker

Nikki Tucker

Founder & Managing Director


Nikki is a 16-year financial services professional, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst ®, and the primary divorce financial strategist for The FIIRM Approach. She helps female breadwinners prepare for divorce to avoid common financial mistakes and confidently maintain their financial security. She uses proven strategies within the FIIRM Approach methodology so her clients can manage their money, debt, and credit in their new financial life. TAKE ACTION & LEARN about the tools that can help make your new money life easier. Grab your FREE Ultimate Resource Guide HERE. 

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